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Sermon Notes January 16, 2011

Raising a Child of God

Luke 2:40-42

It was a poor family with several children. One of the boys in this family began to display an interest in art at a very early age. As he got older, his interest and talent continued to develop until finally the time came for the boy to enter art school. Although he could afford the tuition by working part-time, he could not afford the expensive art supplies that were required. His father volunteered to get a part time job in order to support the boy’s needs. The boy resisted but the father insisted, so the boy pursued his talent by going to school.
As time passed, the boy became a renowned artist and his paintings were very much sought after. One evening the father was invited to a banquet being held in honour of his son. On the way into the banquet hall, the father was stopped by a newspaper reporter. “Sir, are you the artist’s father?” the reporter asked.
“That’s right!” the father proudly answered. “Is it true that you deserve the credit for what your son is today?”
The old man thought for a moment and then replied “That’s not completely true. You see, I supplied the canvas, but my son painted on it.”
One subject this morning is the raising of children; It seems a good time on this Sunday to reflect on the process all humans go through of development from child to adult. Today’s scripture deals with Jesus as a young boy and His growth leading to baptism. The Bible doesn’t give us details, but obviously Mary and Joseph did something right. So I want to look with you, at how we, as Christians, can be the best parents, grandparents and influential adults to the children God has given to us.
There are all kinds of questions to be addressed. How should I raise my children. If they are already grown up, and I’m not too pleased about the results, have I failed? Is it my fault and should I feel guilty? Are there certain things I should be teaching or should have taught my offspring to prepare them for life?
It seems to me that our story of the young artist can give us a couple of initial questions, you remember what a proud father said of his successful son… “I supplied the canvas, but my son painted on it. “ That in my opinion, is a good parable for us on raising children. Parents are called to provide the initial background canvas on which their children paint the pictures of their lives.
Of course this has a number of implications to it. For instance it is clear from this that children must accept accountability for what they do with their lives. Each of us paint our own picture over 70 +years- not our parents. There comes a time in life when a child must assume the full responsibility for his or her own actions. . The old, “I had a rotten childhood” line is not a valid excuse for having a rotten adulthood. Most people have within themselves the abilities to overcome a negative childhood experience, but if they don’t they can need help to do so.
Obviously people who have suffered severe physical or emotional abuse will need help.
It is true that the input parents give their children has a tremendous influence on them, but what the child does with all that input is ultimately up to him. Parents supply the canvas and the offspring are responsible to paint on it.
Well, what can we do for our kids? Is there a certain type and quality of canvas that we should be supplying for our children on which to colour their lives? I believe there are several things that can be of invaluable assistance to our children’s futures. I want to suggest three in particular but before I get to those I want to suggest one thing that’s very obvious and that is this: the most important thing we need to give our children is love. Now all of you know that goes without saying but sometimes the things that go without saying also go without doing- we forget to just love our children.
Many parents, as they look back say one thing they regret is that they didn’t just enjoy their kids as they were growing up. They didn’t just love them and enjoy them- they got too technical and worried too much and plotted and planned their offspring’s development and training – sign them up for this, enroll them in that, get them to this practice, that lesson. All busyness and programming. But parents later say – I got too serious instead of delighting. Rather, relax and enjoy and love your children while you have them.
Having said that I want to suggest three specific things that we can give to our children.

The first thing that our children need is a solid base of self-esteem. It is essential that every human being understand as early as possible that they are a valuable and important person, for no other reason than that God made them and they are loved by the one who is Creator and owner of all. Unfortunately in our society a child’s value is often measured not according to their importance to the creator, or even anything they do-but rather according to characteristics and circumstance over which they have no control.
Experts tell us that North American society prizes three things in children: beauty, intelligence and athletic ability. I have some bad news for you. Few of us are remarkably good looking or particularly intelligent or athletic. I don’t see any movie stars, or Einsteins, or future Gretzky’s. You and I, and our children are probably rather average and so if we want our young people to have self esteem it is essential that we evaluate our own value system and be sure it is one that teaches them that they are important and prized regardless of their aptitude for binary mathematics or the straightness of their teeth and the size of their nose, or how well they run, skate, dance, or throw.
If we want our children and grandchildren to have a usable canvas on which they paint their lives then we need to give them self esteem. Teach them to love themselves.
How? Let me suggest one thing
I believe the most valuable contribution an adult can make to a child is to instill in her a genuine faith in God. What greater ego satisfaction could there be than knowing that the Creator of the universe is acquainted with me personally? That God values me more than the possessions of the entire world, that the Creator understands my fears and anxieties; that God reaches out to me in immeasurable love when no one else cares, that God’s only Son actually gave His life for me.
This is self esteem at it’s richest, not dependent on the whims of birth or social judgment or the cult of the super child, but rather on Divine decree.
Jesus tried to tell us:
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten by God Why even the hairs of your head are all numbered, Luke 12_ 6,7
God loves us immeasurably! Our children need to know that so they will love themselves.

Well, let us go on to a second suggestion that believe should be part of the canvas. I am convinced we must give our children the vision to see beyond themselves, to the needs of others and the possibilities for change in this world.
A number of parents were interviewed on the question of “how would they raise their children if they could do it again? I was struck by the comments of several of the parents. One mother after reflecting on her children said “My children are aware of human needs on a GLOBAL level (Sudan, Haiti) But on the practical level, I will say to Nicky for example, “I can give you the phone number of an elderly person who is lonely, or a family with a disabled child.” And she’ll say, “O mom I don’t want to do that kind of thing.” And so concludes this wise parent – if I were starting over again I would expose them to the needs of people around them.
Do you see what I’m driving at? Our children need vision beyond themselves they need to be fired by the imagination of what they can do for humanity and this world.
Where is the enthusiasm and commitment of many in past eras who went out on the mission fields or into the slums with the intention of changing the world in our generation. I will grant you there were excesses and a patronizing attitude by some but they cared and they wanted to help and they were willing to sacrifice.
I fear that we may be raising a generation whose goals in life will be limited to big screen TV’s , a Muskoka cottage and lower golf scores. God help us, God may have mercy on us if that is all we teach our young people to strive for.

III

Finally, let me say, in preparing life’s canvas for our children, I would also include in it the example of our faith. We adults can give our young people the best foundation for life possible, by radiating a vibrant friendship with God. A few moments ago I made the point that self esteem is essential, and humans will only give themselves the proper value when they know that the Creator loves and values them. Now I’m trying to make a different point. Not only do our children need to love themselves, they also need to learn to love God ; if we don’t have a vital faith that we can pass on then there will be a spiritual hunger and emptiness in their lives.
I remember one father, whose 27 year old son is now a full fledged devotee of Rev. Sun Myung Moon. Why did he become a Moonie?
“He told us that he was looking for something we didn’t give him, something spiritual,” Walter says dumbfounded. “After Grade 12 I was a little concerned that he was getting in with a ‘fast crowd’, Walter recalls, “and all the time he was looking for God!?”
That reminded me of something Douglas Coupland, author of Generation X, and J-Pod, wrote. After much of his success in writing and broadcasting, he wrote a book called Life After God, in which he outlines his affluent upbringing in Vancouver, and then shares his spiritual quest. Listen to what he wrote in the last pages of that journal: “Now-here is my secret:
I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God – that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love.” (p. 394)
Parents, grandparents, adults- our children need a relationship with God. Your example- not the preacher or the GraceLand teacher, your example could make the difference in their spiritual formation.
Well, that was my last point. Do you see what I’ve done? I didn’t notice it until I was finishing writing this sermon. I’ve just told you to give your children Jesus great commandment!!
I was sitting at my desk trying to write this sermon and I had piles of ideas and notes, I had read two books, parts of several others and a number of magazine articles and I boiled everything I wanted to say into 3 things — Give your children:
1) self esteem
2) vision beyond themselves to the needs of others
3) example of your own friendship with God
Re-phrased and simplified I wanted to tell you to teach your children to :
1) love themselves
2) love their neighbours
3) love God
And suddenly it hit me – a light turned on and I flopped back in my chair. Then excitedly I reached for my Bible and flipped to Mark 12:30-31 and I read:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. There it is – Love for God- the 3rd point of my sermon. I went on… “you shall love your neighbor…” there’s the second point of my sermon! Vision beyond yourself to the needs of others.
And finally I read “you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself!!“
There’s the first point of my sermon, self esteem. Well, either I’m a genius or…. God’s way ahead of me.
Jesus told us this 2000 years ago and I think I’m so brilliant figuring it out now!!
But, there it is- raising a child of God:
Teach them to love themselves; teach them to love those around them and their world, and above all- by your own faith teach them to love God.

Prayer – Lord we love our children, we’re learning to love You, guide us and teach us that we might mold, shape and roll out a canvas on which their lives and their life picture can be beautiful, through Christ we pray. Amen.
Rev. Dr. Orville James
Wellington Square United Church,
Burlington, On
January 16th, 2011

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Raising a Child of God

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